Her Secret Past
by ayamiko95
Summary: She was broken, enveloped in numbness, until he came along. Will she accept him as who he is or will she just continue to dwell in the past? Will she accept that they are two completely different people?
1. The New Student

Ayamiko95 here, I've decided to edit this story. :) Just to befit my current style of writing. I hope the new and old readers will review this work of mine :)

**Disclaimer: Don't own this anime**

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**_Her Secret Past_**

**_Chapter 1_**

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Tomoyo entered her classroom with a smile, she scanned the room, looking for a particular golden haired girl. She spotted her seating on her seat by the window, she sighed. She walked towards her table with a smile as she greeted her best friend.

"Good morning, Sakura." She said cheerfully.

No response.

Tomoyo frowned; she still hadn't gotten used to this reaction of Sakura, her empty eyes, her beautiful face which remained expressionless... Even though it was almost a year since she was like this… Almost a year since she felt like she lost her cheerful best friend...

As Tomoyo silently took out her books, the bell rang. Their homeroom teacher entered the room and looked around checking if the whole class was present. Her eyes rested on Sakura as she saw her looking outside the window, an empty expression across her face, and she sighed. "Class Rep," she called gently.

Sakura looked up slowly as if she just realized where she was, "Hai, sensei?" She replied.

The teacher tried her best to erase the worry that was beginning to show on her face as she spoke, "We're having a new student in our class," announced the teacher "I'll have you in charge of him, class rep." Sakura nodded lifelessly.

Although Sakura lacked the response or enthusiasm, the whole class became full of excitement, especially the girls. A new student at the middle of the school year rarely happens, and from what the teacher had been saying, it's a boy!

"Please come in," motioned the teacher.

The new student entered the classroom full of confidence. The whole class became silent immediately and some even gasped in surprise. The whole excitement disappeared and the teacher knew the reason why.

"Class, I want you to meet Syaoran Li, he came from Hong Kong, I expect you all to be nice to him. I hope you won't give him a hard time, his Japanese might not be as proficient but please, don't give him a hard time." She emphasized.

Then a response that they never expected suddenly came. The lifeless Sakura suddenly gasped as she took the first look at the new student. Her eyes widen as she sat frozen on her seat. The class stayed silent. They didn't know whether they should feel relieved that their friend began to show emotions again, or be sad, because this might start her pain all over again.

Sakura continued to stared at the boy in front of the class, was she dreaming?

_No way, it couldn't be. Of course not, the name is different. This is a completely different person. But, there was far too much similarity. The way he carried his bag over his shoulder, the way he ties his necktie a little bit loosely_… Sakura felt the hole inside of her opening up again, the numbness is starting to disappear_. And his eyes are the same…_

"Morning," The new boy greeted, his voice full of confidence. "I'm Syaoran Li, nice to meet you all. Please call me Syaoran and be free to ask me anything too." He grinned at the whole class.

_Even the way he talks. . . and his voice. . ._

The class realized continued to stare at Syaoran with in-explainable awe. Some began glancing at Sakura worriedly. This was the exact same introduction _he_ had given the whole class. It was déjà vu, like history trying to repeat itself.

The teacher didn't pay too much attention at the class' lack of response. "Well, if I remember correctly, we have a spare seat in this class…" The teacher didn't have to look around the room to know where the spare chair was placed. The class already also knew where he would be seated. "There, behind our class rep."

_Calm down. . . It's not the same. . . The past is the past. . ._

As Syaoran walked across the room, the class began retracing the exact same moment in the past; the boy would sit behind Sakura and ask her the same questions _he_ asked.

"Hi, I'm Syaoran, you're the class rep right? I'm looking forward to be under your guidance." He said cheerfully, he extended his hand for her to shake.

Sakura ignored it.

When Syaoran realized that his hand was just going to meet the cool air, he pulled it back with a chuckle. "We're going to get along."

Sakura felt a stab in her chest.

_Stop repeating his words. . . With the same voice. . . Stop talking to me!_ Instead of saying the words aloud she just nodded lightly in his direction.

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"Hey man,"

Syaoran grinned at a classmate of his. Even though it was just his first day, Syaoran had adjusted well and he made a lot of new friends. He didn't need to exert much effort to make new friends since his charisma seems to be a part of who he is. An easy-going and cheerful person, someone who was approachable. People were easily drawn to him.

"The guys were hoping to tour you to the clubs, but we're really sorry we can't. There's a club meeting going on, and it's urgent because the Winter Festival is coming up." His classmate apologized.

Syaoran shook his head, "It's okay. I gotta get home immediately. My mother won't be able to wait for me to tell her of my day." He chuckled.

The guys who surrounded Syaoran's table laughed. Syaoran had to send them off cheerfully for a few more times before they left, still apologetic to the new student.

Tomoyo had been watching.

She shook her head to herself. They guys grew comfortable with him in an instant, it might be because he was too much like _him. _Either that, or it was just Syaoran himself.

Then she stood up from her seat and left her best friend, she approached Syaoran with a kind smile. "Hello, I'm Tomoyo Daidouji," She introduced herself in a friendly manner. "I'm the class representative's, best friend." She gestured to Sakura, who was scrawling on her notebook. "How was your first day?" She asked.

"Great," He grinned, "Everyone's cool, they've been nice. Better than I expected, not that I was hoping for something bad," He chuckled.

Tomoyo couldn't help but giggle. It was easy to like this person. "Well then, I hope Japan is a good place for you to stay. I'm sorry I wasn't able to accompany my classmates in touring you around the school."

Syaoran shook his head as he laughed, "No, it's fine. It was a little embarrassing, walking around the school with a big crowd. Enough to make it seem like a commotion is going on."

"They were just excited."

"It seems so." He chuckled. "I know the feeling. Like a new specie had just joined in."

_Well, he seems to be kind. . . _Thought Tomoyo, _Maybe he's not bad for Sakura. . . _She glanced at her best friend who had begun to space out again. _Or maybe not. . ._

"Do you want me to tour you on the clubs?" Tomoyo asked courteously.

Syaoran cocked his head to the side, his expression confused. "I don't mean to be rude, but I've been wondering for a while now. Isn't taking care of the new student the class representative's job?" He asked, gesturing to Sakura, who seemed to have her own world.

Tomoyo sighed, "Yes. It is."

"She doesn't like me." Syaoran guessed.

Tomoyo jerked in surprise at his sudden assumption, which sounded so sure. "No! No, it's not that. It's just that she's going through something rough right now. I assure you that that Sakura isn't the usual Sakura."

"So her name's Sakura?"

"Yes." Tomoyo smiled, "Sakura Kinomoto."

Syaoran nodded, "Well, I guess I understand. It's hard to mingle if you're going through something. And from the looks of it, she's going through something unbearable." He said softly.

Tomoyo nodded, "You have no idea."

Syaoran shook his head, he instantly returned to a smile, "So then, please tour me around!" He said cheerfully.

Tomoyo gave him a thankful look since he didn't press the matter any further like any other person would.

"I hope you won't be bothered too much by Sakura's behavior." Said Tomoyo, as she led him down the staircase of the school towards the club rooms.

"It's okay." Syaoran assured her. "I saw it in her eyes."

"Her eyes?" Tomoyo asked curiously.

Syaoran nodded. "Our eyes met when I introduced myself. She had that tortured look in her eyes." Then he looked at Tomoyo as he paused from his steps. "I don't know who to ask, or if anybody will even answer me seriously... but I'm hoping you will, Daidouji-san."

"What is it?"

"Did I do anything wrong? When I entered the classroom, the reaction and atmosphere of the class instantly changed. I heard the reactions before I entered the classroom, but when I stepped in..."

Tomoyo shook her head, "No, it's not you. We were all just surprised. You're actually good-looking." Tomoyo smiled.

Syaoran blushed a bit as he scratched his cheek. "Th—Thanks." He said, obviously embarrassed.

As Tomoyo watched Syaoran, she couldn't help herself. "I have a favor," She suddenly said.

"First task of the newcomer?" Syaoran grinned.

Tomoyo giggled. "You'd be doing the whole class a favor."

"Sure, what is it?" He asked, curious as to what he has to do.

"Can you be a friend to Sakura?"

"Eh?"

Tomoyo smiled softly, "We can't reach her. We've been trying to reach her for almost a year now. And the reaction she showed when you entered the room was the first emotion she showed ever since she fell into that state." Her eyes turned sad as a frown emerged from her lips.

"I— I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to help. I barely know her." He said apologetically.

Tomoyo shook her head, "Maybe that's what she need. Someone who doesn't know what she went through."

"Starting anew."

"Exactly." Tomoyo agreed. "All of us were affected with what happened, but it was Sakura who got affected the most..."

"This event that happened. . ."

Tomoyo looked at Syaoran with deep sadness, "We lost a classmate. He was someone precious to her."

"Oh." Syaoran was speechless.

"And..." Tomoyo hesitated, _No, Sakura really needs this._ "You're exactly like him."

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_A/N: Review please! :)_


	2. Open Your Heart

**Disclaimer: I don't own Card captor Sakura**

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_**Chapter 2**_

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"Alright, I hope you'll be able to choose a club soon. Whichever appeals to you." Tomoyo smiled.

She had just finished introducing Syaoran to the club presidents, asking them to consider Syaoran's late entry if ever he choose to enter that particular club. With Syaoran's natural charisma and seemingly excellent skills in sport, they had no problem in considering.

Syaoran nodded as he opened the door back to their classroom. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

Tomoyo looked inside the classroom, it was already empty except for one person. Sakura still remained in her seat, as usual, she seemed to be in a daze again.

"It's always like this," Tomoyo murmured. "She'll leave when the clubs are done. It was always like that..."

She walked to her place and arranged her things into her bag, she looked at her best friend with a smile. "I'll be going now Sakura, don't forget to lock up."

"Hmn," Sakura answered in daze, she glanced at Tomoyo for a moment before looking back outside the window again.

Tomoyo frowned as she walked towards Syaoran, who hadn't moved an inch from the door, "Well then Syaoran-san, I'll be going already," murmured Tomoyo.

"Oh, thank you again," said Syaoran, bowing slightly to Tomoyo as a sign of his gratitude.

Tomoyo smiled back at him, then she looked at Sakura once again, she sighed. When she turned to Syaoran, she whispered to him, "Please," then she glanced to Sakura.

Syaoran nodded in understanding. Tomoyo had asked for his favor to help Sakura back to her feet. Even though he doesn't really know her, seeing someone like that... just made him want to help. He still wasn't sure how he was to help, especially when Tomoyo told him about something bizarre...

Tomoyo quietly left the classroom. Leaving Syaoran with Sakura.

_Sakura, you may not forgive me for this, but it's worth the shot... Whether you would be able to move on or just stay there... stuck in time... I know Syaoran-san would be able to make a difference._

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_._

Silently, Syaoran moved behind Sakura and sat on his seat without a noise. He watched her back, somehow, it's like he could see how much pain she was keeping inside just by looking at her posture... He sighed, leaning forward.

"Kinomoto-san?" Syaoran called gently.

Sakura suddenly flinched upon hearing his voice. She immediately looked in front of the classroom. _His voice..._

"It's getting late Kinomoto-san, do you want me to walk you home? It's dangerous for you to walk alone around this time." Syaoran offered.

_Don't... Don't be dragged in... He's a completely different person... He's gone... It's impossible for him to even be here... Don't be fooled... But... The temptation..._

Sakura reluctantly looked at Syaoran, she forced a small smile upon her face, "Thank you, but I'm used to this," She said, her voice still lifeless.

"Oh." Syaoran said disappointingly, "Well, alright. Then, I'll leave ahead now. Take care on your way home and don't stay here too late class rep." Syaoran grinned.

Sakura felt a stab in her heart upon seeing him grin to freely.

She immediately looked away again, "Hmn," She answered.

Syaoran sighed silently and grabbed his bag. He looked at Sakura one last time before leaving the classroom.

Sakura exhaled the breath she didn't know she was actually holding in. _So much similarity... Having to see him much closer... Their eyes are the same... For a moment, I could actually believe that he's alive..._

She suddenly felt something warm trickling down her cheeks. She slowly touched it.

Tears...

It's been a while since she cried...

It feels so hard to feel again...

Letting the pain enter her heart once again...

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"Ah,"

Sakura looked up when someone suddenly took a step in front of her just outside the gates of the school.

"Kai." Sakura's eyes widen.

Syaoran suddenly had a confused look on his face. "It's Syaoran Li." He said, a playful expression suddenly surfacing on his face, "Your new classmate."

"W-why are you here." Sakura asked, another stab in her heart was felt. _It's not him... He's gone already..._

"I told you that it was dangerous to stay out late at night." Syaoran said, "It's already past 7, I'm surprised you weren't locked inside."

"My safety is none of your concern." Sakura murmured, walking to the direction of her house.

Despite her cold attitude, Syaoran still followed her with a bright aura. "A classmate's safety is the classmate's concern."

"Are you lost?" Sakura asked, a slight irritation evident in her voice.

Syaoran grinned at her, "Oh ho, class rep's getting angry." He joked.

Sakura's eyes widen. _Angry...?_

"Surprised?" Syaoran grinned.

Sakura immediately switched back to a poker face. "Whatever Tomoyo has told you about me, you should just forget it."

"Hmn? So you were actually aware? Don't tell me you pretend to look as if you don't have a care, when in reality you're just snooping around."

"Think what you want."

"Alright. This is what I think. I think that you just want people to pay attention to you. You seem to be shouting out loud the words _Look at me. Notice me._"

"What right do you have to judge me?" Sakura asked, this time, anger was completely evident in her tone. Her eyes were clear of that emotion too.

"You just told me to think what I want." Syaoran countered.

"Are you going to follow me until I get home?"

"I plan to."

"Are you a stalker?" Sakura asked, already a bit irritated. She walked faster.

Syaoran steadily kept up with her with no problem at all. "No, I'm your new classmate, in case you forgot."

Sakura sighed frustratedly, she looked at Syaoran once again, stopping from her tracks. "Is joking all you know to do?"

"I think you'd regret it if I become serious." Syaoran answered quietly.

"What did Tomoyo tell you...really?" Sakura asked.

"Nothing much." Syaoran answered. _Just the fact that I seem to resemble a dead guy, and that dead guy seems to be someone precious to you._ Then he suddenly remembered Tomoyo's words.

_"Maybe you can help Sakura's time to start moving again... You and that person are different people. Sakura has to let that person go. Please help her. You have to let her time continue ticking again. She can't remain frozen..."_

"Nothing much, you mean by much."

"She just told me that you're going through something rough, and that I may be of help." Syaoran said earnestly.

Sakura looked at the ground. Looking at him just reminded her too much of _that __person_. "She didn't tell you anything else?"

"Nothing at all."

"Then why are you here? Did she say I need your help? You barely know me. Correction, you don't even know me." Sakura said.

"What I do know is that you are really not this person. I can tell that you're someone people love to around with. You can probably say that I'm interested in you, define it as a joke or as a confession, think what you want. I know this isn't who you really are." Syaoran smiled.

_The smile…_

Sakura could feel the corners of her eyes stinging with tears which were threatening to fall soon. She turned to the small gate beside her immediately and opened it.

"This is your home?" Syaoran said admiringly, "Closer to school than I would've expected."

Suddenly the front door of Sakura's house opened. Her father opened the door with a worried look on his face. He smiled in relief upon seeing his daughter walking up the pathway to the front door.

"Sakura, welcome home," greeted her father.

As if feeling that someone was standing from afar, Sakura's father looked towards the small gate. His eyes widen seeing as Sakura has a companion, and the face of the lad instantly registered. "Oh."

"Don't mind him," Sakura murmured, not bothering to look at Syaoran nor her father. "He's a stalker." Then she walked into the house.

Fujitaka watched his daughter trudge into the house with astonishment. His daughter actually sounded irritated... It had been a long time since he saw any emotion from her. He looked back at the boy standing outside.

"Did you happen to walk Sakura home?" He asked.

"Kind of. She didn't want my company though." Syaoran smiled, "Well, good evening. I'll be leaving now."

"Wait." Fujitaka called. "Do you happen to be a friend of Sakura?"

Syaoran chuckled, "No. I'm a new student, Kinomoto-san's my classmate. You can say I'm a friend of Daidouji-san. I'm Syaoran Li."

"Oh, well then, thank you for walking Sakura home. I always worry since she comes home late at night."

"It's no problem." Syaoran grinned.

"Would you like to join us for dinner Syaoran-kun?" He asked courteously.

Syaoran shook his head, "Thank you, but I should head home now. Surprisingly, I don't live far from here."

"So, that moving truck earlier must be your family moving in." Fujitaka said, clearly recalling the truck just a few blocks from the house when he went out to go to his university.

"I assume that is so." Syaoran answered with respect, "Have a good evening," He said, just before he left.

Fujitaka watched Syaoran's retreating form. He had barely suppressed his surprise upon seeing the boy. How could this be? He looked exactly like the boy whom Sakura really cherished in the past. Not only that, the way he talked and smiled, it was so similar.

He walked into the house, seeing Sakura setting the plates which was her daily routine.

He felt like worrying more for her. This would hurt her, wouldn't it?

"Sakura?" Fujitaka called.

"Hmn?" Sakura looked at her father, her brows shooting up. "Is anything wrong?"

Fujitaka was suddenly stunned.

"What's this? The little monster finally said a sentence?" Touya suddenly appeared from behind Fujitaka, he just came out of his room.

"Shut up, meanie." Sakura said, continuing with her task at hand.

Even Touya was stunned at her answer.

"It's been a while," Fujitaka said, his voice filled with relief.

"Yeah." Touya answered, completely understanding what his father meant.

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"Hey, Kinomoto-san, would it hurt you if I become your friend?" Syaoran asked.

Sakura looked up from her desk in surprise at his sudden question.

They were both coincidentally the first people in the classroom. Sakura had avoided looking at him the whole time. All of a sudden, she forgot what she had been doing all those days she came to school early... Syaoran sighed knowing full well that Sakura didn't want to talk to him, but he might as well get this chance of them being alone.

"Why are you asking me that?" Sakura asked.

"Because you seem to have this sudden hostility toward me. Yesterday was just the first day."

"I think you know why. You should've just minded your own business instead of following me home." Sakura answered back.

Syaoran sighed. "Even before I do any of that, you already seem to hate me." He pulled a chair in front of Sakura's desk at sat on the chair as he faced her. "Why don't you get to know me first before you start hating me?"

Sakura froze. _It's because you might just remind me of him again... You both are already similar enough as it is. I'd go crazy if your personal interest is also similar... I don't want to know you... Hating you is easier..._

"Just for a semester. Get to know me. Hate me or like me, whatever you decide in the end, it's your choice. Just get to know me. Everybody doesn't seem to have a problem with me."

"Why does my perspective of you even matter?"

"Like I said, I'm interested in you." Syaoran answered bluntly.

"W-well," Sakura stuttered, looking away, she suddenly felt her cheeks flaring. "Good luck in getting a positive answer from me."

"I take that as a go." Syaoran chuckled, standing up from the chair.

As soon as Syaoran left her sight, Sakura was already debating with herself inside.

_A__m I prepared to go through the same pain if ever it might happen again? Am I willing to take the risk? Getting to know more about him...? Maybe... it's a risk that might be worth it..._

She closed her eyes.

It had been a while since she felt like this. Anxious. Worried. It's as if she was a baby discovering new emotions day by day...

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Tomoyo entered the classroom with a bright smile, and then suddenly, a classmate of hers stood in front of her.

"Daidouji-san..." A classmate said.

"Good morning," Tomoyo greeted. "Is there anything wrong?"

"Kinomoto-san..."

Tomoyo's eyes widen in panic, "Is there something wrong with her?"

Her classmate just shook her head, and broke into a large smile, "No, but, she looks better now."

"Eh?" Tomoyo craned her neck to look at her best friend.

Everything seemed to be like the usual. Sakura was still on her desk, looking outside the window. Then what did her classmate mean that she looks better now? Was Syaoran able to get through?

She looked at Syaoran who was seated behind Sakura. He was casually chatting with their other male classmates... Did anything happen?

"Good morning." Tomoyo greeted Sakura, like usual.

Sakura glanced at Tomoyo, she smiled a small smile, "Good morning Tomoyo."

Tomoyo stood still for a moment, then she broke into a brighter smile. There's a change... "How was your day yesterday?" She asked.

Sakura pouted, "Touya was being mean again."

Tomoyo giggled, "I bet he just misses you." She said softly.

Sakura frowned at Tomoyo's statement. "I'm sorry..." Sakura murmured.

"It's alright." Tomoyo smiled, pulling her chair from her desk. "Let's do some catching up." She smiled.

As Tomoyo sat down, she caught Syaoran looking at them. Tomoyo nodded as a sign of saying thank you to Syaoran. Syaoran smiled at Tomoyo.

_"I guess I was right after all..." _Tomoyo thought.

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A month...

A month has passed since Syaoran had entered their school.

Tomoyo smiled beside Sakura as they walked into their classroom. It has been a month and Sakura is still continuing to improve. As Tomoyo had thought, Syaoran was able to make a difference. Sakura was slowly opening her world to others again.

It made the class happy, but they were still anxious deep within.

They were worried if the time comes that she would... break again.

They knew that Syaoran was the one who opened up Sakura's heart again. He was Sakura's leaning post, he became her steady foundation. But they knew that any time, Syaoran could leave.

It wasn't like the two were in a relationship or anything. They were worried that if Syaoran finds someone...

They were worried about what might happen. Falling down for the second time is not something someone could easily stand up from.

Sakura would be hurt all over again...

For now, Sakura seemed to have placed everything about _that __person a_side temporarily.

_"Everything will be fine as long as Sakura thinks of Syaoran as Syaoran and not..._him." Tomoyo thought.

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_A/N: Review please!_


	3. Be My Friend

**Disclaimer: I don't own Card captor Sakura**

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_**Chapter 3**_

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"Watching her again?"

Syaoran jumped from the frame of the back door of their classroom when someone suddenly spoke behind him. But as the voice registered in his mind, Syaoran turned around with a sheepish smile.

"Daidouji-san." He acknowledged.

Tomoyo giggled as she looked at where Syaoran had been looking.

There, Sakura was looking over the papers that her classmate asked her to look at for the upcoming school event for their class. From time to time she suggested something to her classmate with a smile.

"I really can't believe that she's smiling." Tomoyo said softly.

"I can see now why everyone is so concerned about her." Syaoran said, "She has this certain warmness emanating from her."

Tomoyo smiled, "Exactly. If she seemed rude to you at first, it was just because she was trying to hide her pain—"

"Or rather because I remind her of a dead person who used to mean so much to her." Syaoran said quietly.

"Sorry," Tomoyo murmured, frowning.

"You don't have to apologize Daidouji-san." Syaoran said, a smile already on his face.

"Thank you, you really don't know how thankful we are that you've been able to pull Sakura out of her...state. It's like you were putting her through rehabilitation... for three months..."

Syaoran chuckled, "I barely did anything but annoy the hell out of her. We barely talk anyway."

Tomoyo laughed softly, "Sakura's pretty much approachable. You just have to make the first move."

Syaoran laughed too. "Really."

"You should try again. It would be better if you two get to know each other more."

"Thanks Daidouji-san."

"Come on," Tomoyo said, pulling Syaoran's arm.

Tomoyo pulled Syaoran until they both stood beside Sakura, who was still seated, looking over the papers, but she seemed frozen to one page. She didn't seem to be seeing anything at all. Her face was pale.

"Sakura? What's wrong?" Tomoyo was instantly worried, letting go of Syaoran's arm.

"I- It's nothing." Sakura said, immediately flipping the page.

Syaoran wasn't so sure it was just nothing, seeing as how she was shaking as she flipped the page.

"Kinomoto—"

"Kai."

Sakura suddenly cut Syaoran off as she looked up, her eyes wide-eyed. Then, as if realization dawned onto her, she shook her head and immediately look down.

"Sorry," She murmured.

Tomoyo suddenly sighed once again.

Syaoran looked at her with question and curiosity. It had been a while since he heard Tomoyo sigh.

"It's already _that_ time of the school year, isn't it." Tomoyo supplied for her friend.

Sakura flinched as if she was pinched hard. She looked at Tomoyo. The look in her eyes reminded Syaoran of when he first met her. The look of reliving a horrid experience... a seemingly empty yet tortured look...

"_That_ time?" Syaoran couldn't help but ask out loud.

"It's... nothing..." Tomoyo said softly, her eyes begged Syaoran to understand, as she gently pushed him to his seat behind Sakura.

Syaoran wanted to sigh, but he held back. He'd been with the class for already three months, and yet there was so much they didn't tell him yet. Especially about Sakura. Well, he knew that it couldn't be helped. Because he was just a new student. There was still a limit to what he can know.

"I'm sorry," Tomoyo whispered gently to Syaoran as he pulled his chair to take a seat.

Syaoran shook his head with a grin, "It's alright Daidouji-san."

Tomoyo looked at him with a genuine apologetic expression. But before she could say anything more, the teacher entered their classroom, a sign that class was about to start.

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As the teacher started discussing, Syaoran could only stare at Sakura's back. He was trying to figure out why Sakura had suddenly called him Kai again.

Even without anybody telling him, he could perfectly tell that Kai was the classmate that they were talking about, the guys who passed away. But why is it that when Sakura suddenly looked at him, she called out _his_ name.

Could it be that it wasn't just their personalities that were the same?

Tomoyo had mentioned that they had the same eyes... but was that all there was to it?

He was suddenly so curious about this Kai...

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"Sighing again?"

Tomoyo looked beside her as Syaoran walked by her side.

The class was walking, going to a different classroom to hold their new class. Everybody was talking animatedly and excitedly. But Tomoyo and Sakura were the only ones left behind.

Syaoran had looked back and decided to ask what was wrong, when he heard Tomoyo sighing again.

"Sorry," Tomoyo said, a bit surprised, "I... didn't realize."

Syaoran chuckled, then he looked over to Sakura, who was quietly walking beside Tomoyo, her face intent on looking at the tiled floors.

"Kinomoto-san!" Syaoran called.

Sakura looked up in surprise.

"Can you please tell me why you two aren't as excited as everyone is?" He asked cheerfully.

Sakura looked at him blankly this time. "It's because we're not interested." She answered shortly.

Syaoran chuckled at Sakura's retort. He had gotten used to it now by this time. He was always wondering why she was like that when he's talking to her, unlike how she treats her other friends, but he'd rather not ask, worried he might step on a landmine.

"If you say so." Syaoran said dismissively, jogging towards the rest of the class as one of their classmates called him.

.

.

.

Everybody chattered excitedly as they entered the new classroom, which turned out to be the Music Room. Every last month of a quarter, the class was required to have a music class.

Syaoran looked around the room. It looked like a college classroom, with all the elevated seats, each row higher than the one in front. Then he walked towards the black grand piano at the center of the classroom.

He slid his fingers over the polished wood.

"Do you know how to play Li-kun?" Asked their teacher. Seeing as Syaoran had unconsciously smiled a big smile while touching the piano.

Syaoran nodded, "Though I stopped for quite a while..."

"Well, why not give the class a demo?"

"No!" Syaoran laughed, shaking his head, "Like I said, I stopped for a while, I can't possibly play as well as I used to, sensei."

"Come on, the rest of the class already heard each other's talents. We've been together for two years. Why not show us your talent?" The teacher persuaded.

"You play the piano? Come on Li, let's hear it!" A classmate encouraged.

One by one, his classmates starts encouraging Syaoran, until almost the whole class was insisting that he play the piano.

Sakura sat on one of the seats which was a few feet away, watching her classmates crowd over Syaoran.

Tomoyo, who sat beside Sakura, sighed.

"He's right," Sakura said.

"About what?" Tomoyo asked, looking at Sakura curiously.

Sakura kept her gaze ahead, "You do keep on sighing today... You do it unconsciously...mostly when you're worried about something."

"I'm sorry..." Tomoyo smiled softly, "I guess I can't hide everything, can I?"

This time, Sakura slowly looked at her best friend, an identical small smile was on her face. "We've been best friends for as long as we can both remember, of course I know."

"Then, precisely because we know each other so well, that's why I'm worried." Tomoyo looked ahead again. She could see that Syaoran had finally agreed to play for the class. "It's because they're so similar, it's like it's _him_ in front of us..."

"Weren't you the one who wanted to let me look at them as two individuals?" Sakura said, her voice turning cold without her meaning too.

"I'm sorry," Tomoyo mumbled.

"No," Sakura said softly, "I should be the one saying sorry. I shouldn't be like this...right? I should just accept everything. Li-kun is Li-kun. He and Kai are two different people, they may look alike, they may act alike, but they're two different people. The rest might just be a coincidence. It's impossible—"

Sakura was suddenly cut off short when the piano started playing.

Tomoyo and Sakura immediately looked in front, identical masks of surprise.

Syaoran was playing the piano. The way he played, it was obvious that he wasn't just playing it for fun, or even playing it as a hobby. He was talented. But what really caught the attention of the class was...

He was playing the same piece as what Kai had played in the class demo two years ago...

The same speed.

The same emotion.

The same fluid motion of the fingers...

"Sakura..."

Sakura blinked, and realized that she couldn't see too clearly because there was something blurring her view— her tears.

"Shh," Sakura murmured to Tomoyo, immediately wiping away her tears before her classmates could turn around and take a good look at her.

"Whoa! You've got talent Li-kun." The teacher praised, the class immediately started clapping her hands.

Syaoran lightly scratched his cheek with embarrassment, "Uh, thanks."

Then he stretched his neck slightly to see where Sakura was seating.

He saw her, just in time to see her wiping away her tears.

_What... what happened?_

.

.

.

"Class rep!"

Sakura looked up from her desk as a classmate called her attention.

"Hmn?" Sakura asked, giving a small smile.

"It's been a while since we came back from the music room, Li hasn't come back yet. I think you should call him back, another class might be using that room."

"Alright," Sakura said, standing up from her seat.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Tomoyo offered, knowing full well that Sakura would want to avoid Syaoran, yet she can't evade her responsibilities.

"No, it's okay. I'm just going to ask him to come back." Sakura smiled.

Tomoyo nodded, watching her friend with worry as Sakura left the classroom.

.

.

.

Syaoran stared at the piano keys.

He started randomly pressing the keys consecutively, then from time to time, he'd play a short melody with one hand.

He couldn't stop thinking about Sakura. The whole time during music class, she barely went near the piano. As if she didn't like the instrument at all. Not just that instrument, it's like she didn't like playing _any_ instrument. But because of the requirement, she settled for the flute.

But what caught his attention is her seemingly obvious detest for the piano.

The class seem to have noticed it, but they were just trying to be polite and ignored her.

Could the piano have to do something about her past?

Did that Kai person also play the piano?

"Li-kun?"

Syaoran looked ahead and saw Sakura poking her head into the room.

"I'm here," Syaoran said, raising his hand.

"It's time to go back to the classroom." Sakura said, entering the room fully as she closed the door behind her.

"Oh," Syaoran looked at his watch, indicating that he _had_ been in the room for a long time, "Sorry, I didn't... realize."

"You seem to like the piano a lot," Sakura observed, walking up beside him.

Syaoran looked taken aback at Sakura's statement, "Y-yeah," He accidentally stuttered.

When he looked at Sakura, she was looking at the keys like she missed it. Like she wanted to touch it, but was afraid to do so. As he came to realize that they were just there in silence, and that Sakura wasn't going to say anything else, Syaoran started talking.

"It's been a while since I've played the piano. Two years to be exact."

"Two years?" Sakura asked curiously.

"Yup, two years. Because—" Syaoran suddenly froze.

"Li-kun?" Sakura called, suddenly worried that he was in pain or something, because his eyes widen.

Syaoran closed his eyes tightly and then shook his head. "Sorry," He mumbled.

"You stopped because?" Sakura pressed.

"Because..." Syaoran frowned. Then he looked at Sakura with sad eyes, "I'm sorry, I guess it's been a two years, I really can't remember why I stopped..."

"Oh."

"Anyway," Syaoran shifted into a cheerful mode immediately, "What about you? Everybody gave a go at playing the piano today, except you. Why didn't you?"

Sakura froze momentarily at his question.

Syaoran wondered whether he approached a forbidden subject. He slapped himself internally.

"I...I can play, a little." Sakura said in a small voice.

"Really?" Syaoran said in surprise, "Would you mind? I want to hear you play." He said excitedly, standing up from the bench, offering it to her.

Sakura only shook her head at his offer. "Sorry, but I..."

Syaoran barely held back a sigh. He nodded, "It's okay, I understand. Come on," He said, pushing the bench back under the piano. "Let's go back."

"Mn," Sakura agreed. She followed Syaoran out of the music room, all the while, she watched him from behind.

It had been three months since Syaoran came to their school.

Without her noticing, because she was trying to distance herself from him, she had opened her world to others again. Her classmates and friends never stopped pointing out how much they missed her, that she had changed.

Even though Kai and Syaoran seemed like one person... she has to accept that they are different people, right?

Maybe... it wouldn't hurt to befriend him...

It wasn't his fault at all that he seemed to be identical to someone who meant a lot to her. She shouldn't be giving him a hard time...

"Li-kun," Sakura called, she stopped from walking even thought they almost reached their classroom.

Syaoran looked back as an acknowledgement that he heard her calling. He also stopped seeing, seeing as she stopped.

"Is anything wrong?" Syaoran asked.

"I..." Sakura took a deep breath, "My answer is yes."

"Huh?" Syaoran asked, quite confused. Did he ask her something?

"The last time. You asked if you could be my friend. And now, I'm answering you with a yes. Yes, you can be my friend."

Syaoran grinned at Sakura's statement. Sakura felt as if her breath had been sucked away. _Too similar..._

.

.

.

"Did something happen?" Tomoyo asked as Sakura took her seat. She was curious, seeing as how usually extra cheerful Syaoran seemed as he entered the classroom.

"Nothing." Sakura mumbled.

Tomoyo giggled, knowing full well that her best friend was hiding something from her.

"What happened between you two?" Tomoyo pressed, obviously teasing her friend.

"It's really nothing," Sakura said, though a slight blush suddenly colored her cheeks.

Tomoyo's smile widen. She turned to look at Syaoran who was with his own crowd of friends at the back of the classroom.

"Syaoran-san!" Tomoyo called.

Sakura looked at her friend which said _What are you doing?_

Tomoyo only giggled as Syaoran approached them.

"Hmn?" Syaoran asked curiously, seeing Tomoyo's obviously playful and teasing smile. He looked at Sakura, who couldn't even barely look at him at all. "Is something wrong with Sakura-san?" He asked Tomoyo.

Tomoyo instantly looked at the both of them suspiciously. "Since when...did Sakura allow to call you by her first name?" Tomoyo asked.

Sakura blushed again, this time she couldn't look at Tomoyo too. Syaoran chuckled shortly, "Uh..." He said speechlessly.

Tomoyo laughed.

_Things are getting interesting..._

* * *

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.

.

"I can see that that brat is walking you home more often now," Touya immediately said as soon as Sakura closed the door behind her.

"Syoaran-kun isn't a brat." Sakura defended, sticking her tongue out to her brother.

"A brat is a brat," Touya teased, making a face at his little sister.

"Stop it Touya," Fujitaka said good-humoredly. He chuckled seeing the two sibling's usual banter. "That boy is good mannered. And Sakura had been coming home earlier."

"I'm home," Sakura said, seeing her father in the kitchen, preparing for dinner. She immediately went to set the table like usual.

"Maybe you should invite him to eat with us one of these days." Fujitaka smiled, looking at his daughter, "He seem to be a good friend of yours. Also, Tomoyo hasn't visited us in quite a while."

"I'll go ask him," Sakura answered, hoping that her father wouldn't say anything more about Syaoran.

Fujitaka sighed, knowing that Sakura was trying to evade that topic. He looked at Sakura worriedly. Then he met Touya's eyes at the other side of the room. Touya nodded, understanding what his father wants. He retreated back to his room upstairs.

"Sakura," Fujitaka said softly, approaching his daughter.

"Hmn?" Sakura asked, looking at her father.

"I'm worried about you,"

"Why? Is something wrong?" Sakura asked curiously.

"I know that this might open an old wound...but I'm really worried. Syaoran Li seems like a nice boy, but... he remsembles Kai too much..."

Sakura was unable to look at her father's face as he said that. She knew that he'd broach this subject one way or another. "Yes, he's a good person..." Was all Sakura was able to say.

"I'm just worried Sakura. Can you please promise me that you wouldn't get hurt again?"

"I'm sorry for worrying you so much..." Sakura murmured, looking up at her father with apology in her eyes.

Fujitaka smiled softly at his daughter, "You don't have to apologize. I understand that what you went through for two years was hard. Like how hard it was for me to lose your mother. But. You have to pick up the pieces again and start walking."

"I know," Sakura nodded.

"Well, that's all I have to say. And Sakura, remember this."

"Yes?"

"Syaoran Li is different from Kai."

Sakura nodded silently. _I know...everybody had been telling me that... I won't fall for Syaoran-kun..._

_._

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A/N: REVIEW please! I know you guys have certain speculations about Syaoran. Now, the story's ending isn't definite. And it's all up to the reviews. :)

I hope you guys comment. :)


	4. Her Secret Past

**Disclaimer: I don't own Card captor Sakura**

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_**Chapter 4**_

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The streets were quiet as the two best friends came out of the school gates. Tomoyo glanced at her best friend with a smile, Sakura seemed to be spacing out. She couldn't help but assume it was because of a boy, who had brown hair and chocolate colored eyes.

"Sakura?" Tomoyo called gently, not wanting to surprise her best friend out of her reverie.

"Yes?" Asked Sakura. She was smiling as she looked at Tomoyo, who walked by her side.

Tomoyo gave her a gentle smile, "Have I already mentioned how good it feels to have you back?"

Sakura managed a giggle as she nodded. "Yes, you have. As a matter of fact, almost everyone I encountered in the past weeks also said that." Sakura looked up at the clear blue sky. She smiled once again. "It actually feels good to smile again, to laugh again. I can't believe I've missed so much." She said softly.

"But." Tomoyo said, a frown forming on her delicate face.

"But?" Sakura looked at Tomoyo curiously.

Tomoyo briefly studied Sakura's face. Gauging the secrets beneath her eyes. She sighed once again. "You're covering all the pain now. Syaoran-san's here for you already. He's been a good friend. why don't you share your feelings to him if you can't share it with me?"

Sakura looked at her feet as she walked, "I'm sorry Tomoyo, it's not like I was deliberately trying to hide anything from you..." She looked at Tomoyo apologetically. "And... I. . .I can't. . .to Syaoran-kun. . ." Her earlier cheerful mood had obviously disappeared.

"Sakura," Tomoyo said gently, "He's becoming someone important to you, he's becoming your best friend."

"It's still different." Sakura insisted.

"Sakura," Tomoyo finally said with conviction. She stopped walking.

Sakura also stopped walking when Tomoyo did. She looked up at her friend's worried frown. "We can still tell that you are hurting inside despite the carefree side you're showing all of us..."

"It's not easy to just forget!"

Tomoyo sighed, shaking her head, "Why don't you just forget about _him_ and try looking at Syaoran-san instead? I know it sounded harsh and wrong, but, everybody has to move on Sakura. Kai wouldn't wanted this..."

"Sorry Tomoyo, but I can't..." Sakura said, her voice detached.

Tomoyo had immediately detect the change in her best friend's voice. She instantly felt guilty about what she had just said. But these words needed to be said, if not, Sakura won't be able to free herself of the chains she created for herself upon Kai's death.

"I don't want hear anymore," Sakura said. "I don't want to fall for Syaoran-kun."

"That's not what I—"

"Then how could you have mean it? You want me to look at Syaoran-kun as an individual, but I've been trying to do that for a while now!" Sakura continued to stare at her best friend, tears involuntarily springing from her eyes, "But it's so hard! It's so hard because they're too similar to each other!"

This time Sakura ran towards the direction of her house. Not bothering to look back as her best friend called her name. She didn't want to talk to her at the moment. Her heart seemed to feel like it was ready to be ripped off. . .

Her chest was tightening. . .

It was getting harder to breath. . .

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* * *

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Sakura was inside her room now; her earlier conversation with Tomoyo sank in with her. Of course she and Syaoran had become close friends, but sometimes she distances herself from him when it gets to be too much. . .

Even though it's true Syaoran is a different person, she couldn't risk anything more. . .

She could never fall in love with anyone any more. . .

Losing Kai. . .

The way he suddenly disappeared from her life. . .

It had caused a trauma to her heart. . .

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_**-Two years ago-**_

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_**.**_

_**.**_

_Running... He was running... His heart racing uncontrollably as he saw the golden haired angel from a distance..._

_"Hey Sakura!"_

_A younger looking, and more cheerful Sakura stopped from her tracks as she heard someone call her name. She turned around, a bright smile adorning her face as she saw a familiar brown haired gentleman running towards her, a goofy grin upon his boyish face. "Kai," She acknowledged, as soon as he paused to take a breath in front of her._

_The said boy, who had finally started to catch his breath, looked up from his bent form and smiled brightly as he caught up with his angel. She looked back at him with her eyes shinning._

_"Are you two going out already?"_

_Kai jumped as Sakura's ever-so-equally bright best friend, who seemed to be beside Sakura the whole time, disturbed their staring moment. Tomoyo giggled upon seeing the two look away from each other with slightly flushed faces._

_But after a few seconds, Kai immediately stood beside Sakura, he cleared his throat. "What are you saying Tomoyo?" He asked ever-so-innocently._

_Tomoyo giggled again, "Everyone knows a confession took place yesterday."_

_Sakura blushed at her best friend's statement and Kai suddenly choked on nothing as his ears turned red._

_"You two look so cute together," Tomoyo observed. Finding their embarrassment slightly amusing. If only she had brought her video camera, this moment will be instantly be captured and treasured forever._

_"Tomoyo!" Sakura said, blushing a deeper shade when Tomoyo had said it._

_._

_._

_._

_**-After a few months-**_

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_**.**_

_"Sakura, let's hurry up." Tomoyo said, quickly packing up her things since school had just ended. "Mother's friend won't be able to wait for too long."_

_Sakura suppressed a smile at her friend's eagerness. A friend of Tomoyo's mother had seen her designs which she had been making especially for Sakura, and she had liked it. That friend being a successful designer and who, coincidentally, was searching for an apprentice._

_Sakura was about to close her bag when she realized something was missing. "I forgot something." Sakura frowned, "I left it in the Music room."_

_Tomoyo looked like she was hit, "But the Music room's in the other building," She said, clearly disappointed._

_"I'm sorry," Sakura said guiltily, "You should go on without me, it's an opportunity you can't miss, just call me about how things went." She smiled encouragingly._

_Tomoyo nodded determinedly as she gathered her things, "Definitely."_

_As soon as Tomoyo left the room, Sakura sighed frustratedly. It wasn't like her to forget something, especially if it wasn't their homeroom classroom. She groaned, hating the fact that she had to walk back to the other building._

_As Sakura reached the Music room, she paused by the door. It was because she heard someone playing a wonderful tune. A tune that seemed to express a lot of things all at once. Silently, Sakura peeked inside and her eyes widen. "Kai."_

_At the sudden mention of his name, Kai's finger slipped from the keys and pressed the wrong ones. Sakura cringed at the obvious mistake, she mouthed_ sorry_ as the pianist looked at her with surprise._

_"I'm really, really sorry." Sakura said apologetically._

_Kai just chuckled at Sakura's apology. He availed a small space on the bench and patted the space beside him. Sakura could feel her face heat up a little at his gesture, but she took the seat nonetheless._

_"I didn't know you could play so well," Sakura said softly, laying her fingers on the highest octave._

_"I guess you can say that it's a hobby of mine. I've been playing it for quite some time, but I'm nowhere as good as how you make it sound to be." He said, obviously embarrassed._

_"You know I don't flatter people." Sakura joked as she playfully nudged his shoulder with hers. "But really, you were great." She looked at him with a smile so gentle._

_Kai returned that gentle smile of hers, knowing that she was being honest. "Do you want to hear me play other pieces?" He asked softly._

_Sakura could only nod. The softness of his voice seemed to be a prelude to his piano playing, she didn't want to ruin the delicate flow with her loud voice. As soon as Kai had placed his fingers properly on the keys, he immediately started playing a soft slow tune._

_Sakura didn't watch his fingers moving across the keys, instead, she watched Kai's expression. His eyes were closed, only opening them from time to time when he had to switch octaves. She was fascinated. He was playing so passionately. . ._

_And just like that, she had fallen deeper for him. . ._

_His presence had already implanted such deep roots into her heart. . ._

_They were in love. . ._

_And she had believed that nothing could ever go wrong between them. . ._

_How wrong that thought was._

_._

_._

_._

_"Kai? Where's Kai?" Sakura asked, obviously panicked. She shook her best friend, who was sitting on one of the hospital's plastic chairs, tears endlessly falling from her eyes. "Tomoyo!"_

_"S- Sakura," Her best friend said, her eyes already red from crying too much._

_"Where's Kai?" Sakura asked again. Her heart beating faster by the second._

_Tomoyo nudged her head to a certain direction, Sakura immediately knew which room she was pertaining to. She let go of her best friend's shoulder and hurriedly ran to the room._

_It couldn't be..._

_She just came back to the classroom from her cleaning duties, she saw a few of her classmates talking worriedly, like something bad had happened. And upon seeing her enter the classroom, they immediately became silent. Sakura could feel something wrong all of a sudden. She quickly scanned the room, her palms began to sweat when she couldn't find that one person..._

_Kai had been in the classroom, waiting for Sakura like any other normal day, but he suddenly felt his chest tightening... He had a seizure. Everyone knew that the ever so cheerful Kai had a weak heart, but they never knew that it was actually something severe... That a single seizure could quickly determine whether he lives or dies... And it seems fate had decided that he will have to take the latter._

_"Kai!" Sakura called, upon seeing the boy lying on the bed, nurses and doctors all surrounding him. She felt someone pulling her away from the room, but for some reason, she suddenly had all the strength to go on._

_Upon hearing the voice of his angel, Kai opened his eyes. He breathed deeply through his oxygen supporter as he slowly looked to the side. "S-Sakura…" He called out in a small muffled voice, he reached out his hand weakly towards her._

_Sakura took four quick steps towards him and quickly grasped it, completely ignoring the nurse's warning tone. "Kai, you'll be fine." Sakura said, though she could hear that her voice didn't seem to belong to her... it felt... empty..._

_A tear suddenly fell from the corner of Kai's eye as he watched his angel choke back her tears. He managed out a short chuckle, his usual joking laughter, "Yeah, and after they're done with me, I'll be as fit as a horse."_

_"That's right," Sakura agreed, nodding quickly._

_He shook his head slightly, squeezing Sakura's hand with all the strength he had left. "At least I got to see your face in my last moments."_

_"What nonsense are you saying?" Sakura asked, shaking her head in disbelief._

_Suddenly Sakura felt herself being pushed away gently as the nurses began to wheel Kai's bed away, their hold on each other's hand was slipping. "Kai!" Sakura's eyes widen as she followed them. She tried to stay beside him as the nurses hurried him to their destination._

_"Silly Sakura," He said, watching her panicked face, "I'm just trying to be happy. At least make me happy before I—" He winced as he felt his chest tighten to the point of suffocation._

_"Hold on Kai!" Sakura said worriedly._

_"Listen." He gasped._

_"No! No! I won't! You could just tell me after you recover! You have—"_

_"I love you."_

_Whatever words Sakura was about to say, they froze on her lips. Kai reached out his hand weakly again towards her, this time he wasn't trying to reach her hand. Sakura instantly bent down as soon as she realized what he had wanted to do._

_Kai stroked her cheek gently, "Remember to always take care of yourself," He started to pant, as his breaths came out shortly, "Sorry— Sorry that I won't be able to be with you forever, but always remember me in your heart and that I always love you," He said._

_"Kai, what is this? What are you saying? It's as if you're really going to die,"_

_"Angel," He whispered._

_That was the last word Sakura ever heard from him as he was wheeled into the emergency room. He never came out of the room. He never went to school. He never went in front of her doorsteps to pick her up anymore..._

_She didn't go to his funeral... She wasn't even sure if it was held in Japan since his family lived in Hong Kong... She wanted to keep that last memory of him. No matter how weak he had looked like... at least he was breathing, talking..._

_._

_._

_._

_**-A few weeks later-**_

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_"Sakura, let's go out and do something this Sunday," Tomoyo said gently, looking at her best friend, who had been staying in her seat motionlessly the whole break time._

_Sakura only shook her head at her friend's offer, "I don't want to," She said, her voice hoarse, "Everywhere... Wherever we might be going... It might just remind me of Kai..."_

_Tomoyo frowned at Sakura's statement. She was about to say something again, when she noticed a classmate of hers waving for her to go near him. She looked at Sakura sadly one last time before she went to her classmate._

_Yamazaki, a close friend of Kai, was frowning as he watched the exchange between Sakura and Tomoyo. "She's not holding it up well," Yamazaki said, as soon as Tomoyo had stood in front of him._

_Tomoyo shook her head in dismay. She glanced at Sakura, "Kai's death is still a shock to her."_

_"I could just imagine how much pain she must be going through."_

_"No one can imagine..." Tomoyo said softly._

_"Do you think..." Yamazaki began. "Do you think she would've gone to his funeral if it was held here..."_

_"I don't think so..." Tomoyo said, shaking her head._

_Yamazaki sighed. "Still, we could've brought her there. We didn't even get to see him after he entered the emergency room... It was a surprise that his family had come here so fast and took his body back to Hong Kong..."_

_Tomoyo nodded in agreement, "We didn't get to say our proper goodbye... That might've been the best for Sakura..."_

_"I guess so... That would've been a closure..."_

_"Yes." Tomoyo looked at Sakura once again, she sighed._

_"You never sighed before." Yamazaki immediately observed._

_"I think... I might be sighing for quite a while..." Tomoyo answered._

_._

_._

_._

* * *

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**.**

Sakura gasped as she sat up from her bed, sweating hard. She looked around the room, immediately seeking for any comfort. She opened her bedside lamp and slowly calmed down, looking around her familiar surrounding...

_"Why... why did I have that dream again? It had been so long since that dream haunted me... Kai's last moments..." _Sakura looked at her hand, she could still remember Kai's hand slowly feeling cold as the nurses started to wheel him away.

She clenched her hand close, burying her face into a pillow as tears started to involuntarily fall from her eyes.

"Kai... Kai…" Sakura cried, "Kai... Why... Why did you have to leave me like that? I.. I need you so much..."

Sakura, as if remembering something, slowly stood up from her bed and went near her desk. She opened a drawer from her desk and took out a photo frame which was overturned. Slowly, she flipped the frame, and inside the frame was a photo of the two of them— Her and Kai.

More tears fell from Sakura's eyes as she saw how happy they were together... but what was tearing her heart up the most was that... For a split second, she had come to believe that the person beside her was Syaoran...

She immediately closed the drawer shut after she placed the frame inside again. She shook her head. "Kai. I love Kai... He's the only person I need..."

She clenched her eyes shut, hoping to remember the moments she had spent with Kai in the past... but instead... all she could remember were the recent moments she had shared with Syaoran...

"No..." Sakura cried. "Please, don't make me fall for Syaoran..."

_I can't..._

_He'll only be Kai's replacement for me... deep inside my heart..._

_I don't want to fall in love with him..._

_Let me hurt by myself..._

_I don't need anyone else to hurt inside..._

_Kai..._

_Kai..._

_K— Syaoran..._

_Syaoran..._

_Syaoran..._

_Please don't get hurt because of me..._

_._

_._

_._

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_A/N: Review please! _How was this chapter? Did I make any of you cry? *grins* A lot of you guys are starting to make speculations, but my old readers know me better. ^^

Aya-chan never fails to surprise her readers.

So, you guys might as well consider your guesses null. :P If you were able to guess right upon reading the next chapter, do let me know. :)


	5. Truth be Told

**Disclaimer: I don't own Card captor Sakura**

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_**Chapter 5**_

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He turned.

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Sighed.

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And turned again.

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He groaned.

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Syaoran was having a nightmare. He wanted to open his eyes, to break the spell of the nightmare haunting him, but he couldn't. Someone or something was holding him into the world of nightmares.

He had been running through nothingness the whole time. It was all a blur and nothing was clear. It was like he was looking through a frosted glass.

It was like his vision wasn't able to focus on anything. He didn't know where or what he was seeing.

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But what had made this a nightmare for him? What had made this dream something he wanted to escape so badly?

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His dream shifted...

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_After running for so long, Syaoran was finally able to see a blurred figure in front of him._

_It was the first sign of life he had seen in this nightmare._

_As soon as he was able to touch the shoulder of the person, the face of that person seemed to have cleared. He was able to focus. When he looked at the face of the person whom he assumed to be a girl, he immediately withdrew his hand from her shoulder._

_He was looking straight into the familiar emerald colored eyes of the girl._

_"Sakura?" Was the first thing that came out from his mouth. Then he shook his head, "Sorry, wrong person." He immediately added. It couldn't be the Sakura he knew, this girl was much too young and he only met her recently._

_The young girl looked at him curiously and then she giggled. "What's wrong with you today? Come on, we have to go!" She said, immediately grabbing his hand._

_Syaoran was shocked into immobility, he didn't know what to do as he let the young girl pull him towards wherever she was headed._

Do I know her?

_He tried hard to remember if he ever met her, but he only came up with a blank. He has never met this person, especially someone who was so strikingly similar to Sakura. He would immediately remember if that were the case. Because seeing Sakura the first time had left an impact on him._

_An impact he couldn't fully understand himself._

_"We're going to be late!" The girl said as she started to run._

_"Where are we going?" Syaoran finally asked, deciding to just go with her in case he might know who she is along the way._

_The girl looked back at him with a pout, then she continued to run forward. Syaoran saw Tomoeda Gakuen right ahead of them. They were headed to the school, but then, they passed by the high school division and entered the elementary._

_"What are we doing here?" Syaoran asked when the girl finally let go of him in front of the school's entrance. She was bending her knee as she took a deep breath from the run._

_Upon Syaoran's question, the girl turned to face him, she still had that pout on her face. "Moe, what's wrong with you today?" She asked. "Alright, stop pretending not to know anything, I apologize."_

_"Apologize?"  
_

_"Come on!" The girl whined, "I'm really sorry I woke up late. I'm really really sorry. I promise not to make you wait that long. We've made it to school with ten minutes to spare!"_

_"I—"_

_"Forgive me please, please, please!" She pleaded cutely.  
_

_For some reason, Syaoran couldn't help but chuckle at the girl's cute action. "Alright, I forgive you." He reflexively answered._

_The girl immediately broke into a huge smile, her smile made Syaoran lose his breath. "Thank you!" She said happily, "I knew you'd forgive me."_

_Then she ran towards the entrance of the school, when Syaoran stayed still, she looked back with a funny look on her face, "What are you waiting for?" She called._

_Syaoran shook his head, "What's happening?" He murmured to himself._

_The girl was suddenly in front of him again, she pulled him hard, "Come on Kai!"_

_._

_._

_._

Syaoran woke up with cold sweat.

.

.

.

He didn't realize it but he was panting.

.

.

.

_Kai...that girl called me Kai..._

He reached for his blanket and realized that it had fallen onto the floor while he slept restlessly. Syaoran bent to get it when his hand met something hard. He opened his bedside lamp and saw what he was holding onto.

A folder.

Syaoran dropped it to the floor as if he was burned.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he took the thick folder again from the floor. He carefully placed it in his lap and held the cover on its edge as he stared at it. He realized it too late that he was actually gripping the edge upon seeing the folder being folded.

He took another deep breath as he slowly let go.

Syaoran opened it.

Syaoran chuckled, his chuckle sounded like he was getting hysterical. He shook his head as he ran his fingers through his hair. "What kind of a sick joke is this?" He asked aloud, to no one in particular.

Inside the folder was a detailed data of Kai.

Syaoran had asked his butler to give him a complete research of Kai's bio data. He had wondered why his butler was hesitant to give him the folder in the first place, but now it was clear to him.

When he first opened the folder, he thought that a joke was being played on him.

Because...

The face he saw was his own.

He only realized that it wasn't him when he saw the name in the profile. _Kai Atsuki_.

He had read through Kai's profile over and over again. There was something tugging his heart, but he couldn't understand what it was all about. Just that there was something about Kai that he had to know aside from the fact that they looked quite alike.

Despite looking through his profile over and over again, he came up with none.

Syaoran pulled out a page from the stack of papers and stared at it.

.

.

.

It was Kai's death certificate.

.

.

.

It had clearly stated Kai's time of death and the cause.

He's dead.

He's dead for good.

It's impossible for the dead to rise again.

.

.

.

But...

.

.

.

Syaoran suddenly remembered his dream.

The girl had called him Kai.

Even if he didn't want to acknowledge it in his mind, his heart already knew the truth... that girl in his dream was Sakura. A younger version of Sakura. But what did that mean? That _he_ is Kai?

It's impossible.

It's almost funny that the thought even came across his mind.

He had his own parents.

He had his own birth place.

He was born in—

Syaoran clutched his head. There it was again. The sudden headache he'd receive when he tries to remember his past...

He had never bothered to remember the lost fragments in his past... not like this...

He took a deep breath.

His memories...

Yes, he had lost them...

The start of his new memories was when he opened his eyes to a bright light.

He had woken up in a hospital in Hong Kong, with his parents by his side. His parents are both doctors. They had immediately asked how he was feeling as soon as he opened his eyes, they had asked whether he remembered what happened to him.

Syaoran could still remember shaking his head. Everything had been so unfamiliar to him. The faces of his parents who stood by his side weren't familiar to him at all...

He had lost his memories...

.

.

.

His parents told him that he had a car accident...

.

.

.

But, even though he lost his memories, somehow his body could remember things he used to do.

In no time at all, it was as if he had found his old routine... though something felt wrong... something felt missing... or rather out of place...

His parents had told him that he had lived in Japan for quite some time, so that might've been the reason why he felt that things seemed to be out of place for him...

Syaoran had asked for their permission to go back to Japan. At first they were hesitant to let him go, but Syaoran insisted that he had to fill up the hole that seemed to be constantly in his heart. He had to find the missing piece. He promised to return upon finding that missing piece.

.

.

.

Then he met her.

.

.

.

Upon seeing Sakura, he could instantly feel the gap being filled. _Could she be the missing piece? _He had asked himself that. Maybe she was someone important to him in the past?

But he had learned that it wasn't the case because she already had someone dear to her.

Still...

He couldn't let go.

He had never felt so complete until he had met her. He didn't care whether he had to force his way into her heart. He just _had_ to be by her side...

.

.

.

Now this.

.

.

.

He was so curious about this Kai person whom Sakura had held so dear. He didn't mean to pry into Kai's personal life, but something had been bothering him.

He had overheard Sakura's conversation with Tomoyo the other day when the two girls were heading home...

He felt grateful when he overheard Tomoyo taking his side, telling Sakura how much things had changed and that he had become someone important in her life...

But it had really bothered him when Sakura had pressed the fact that he and Kai were strikingly similar...

He had already known that. Tomoyo had already told him that his personality was just like Kai's... but the way Sakura had answered Tomoyo... there seemed to be a lot more to just their similarities in personalities.

.

.

.

And he got his answer.

.

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.

It was like opening the pandora box...

.

.

.

Opening to locks to the forbidden...

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.

_The reason why Sakura can never look at me is because I seem to be like the living replica of Kai. I remind her of every pain she'd ever felt upon his loss..._

_But that still doesn't explain the dream..._

_Was it a dream or a memory?_

"Syaoran."

Syaoran looked up and cringed at the sudden light which flooded his room. As he tried to adjust his sight to the sudden light, he felt a light weight being added onto his bed. When his eyes adjusted, he saw his mother in front of him.

"Mother," He said in surprise, "I didn't know that you were coming here from Hong Kong." He tried to hide the files on his hands without his mother noticing, but his mother was faster.

She had seen the file and the name, she smiled at Syaoran softly. "Someone form the hospital informed me that a copy of Kai Atsuki's death certificate was made. You know that such information can't be easily given out unless someone of position asked for it. Who else could it be other than someone in our family?"

Syaoran looked down from his mother's knowing eyes, "I'm sorry...it's just that..."

"Your butler has filled me in on what has been happening."

Syaoran looked up in surprise, a sudden sense of betrayal filled him. His mother shook his head, "He was starting to worry about you. And it's his duty to tell me if something seems to be wrong with you."

"I'm fine." Syaoran half-snapped.

"Your eyes are clouded." She said softly.

Syaoran brought his hands to the side of his head, "I'm getting more and more confused..." He looked at his mother with eyes which seemed to be full of torture "Why won't you help fill in the gaps in my memories? My childhood? You never once told me how I was like when I was a child..."

"I told you that your memories have to come to you naturally..."

"How will I know if what I'm seeing is my memory or just a dream I've created for myself?"

"Syaoran..."

"What are you not telling me?" He looked at his mother with pleading eyes.

* * *

.

.

.

Sakura's eyes slightly widen upon the teacher's sudden announcement to the class.

She didn't want to be the person to tell the news the her class, but she knew that she had to. "It's true," The teacher said sadly, "It seems that Syaoran-kun will be going back to Hong Kong."

"Sensei, do you know the reason why?"

"How come it's sudden?"

"Did something happen to him?"

Questions began pouring out of the students' mouth. This sudden news was a shock to them, but they were more worried about Sakura. Even though Sakura would never admit it, she had grown attach to Syaoran like how she was attached to Kai in the past.

This separation might cause Sakura to feel pain all over again.

The teacher frowned at the class' anxious questions, she's aware that they were worried for the well-being of their fellow classmate, but there was nothing she could do about it.

"Syaoran-kun's mother called a while ago. She said that Syaoran-kun seemed to be homesick." The teacher said.

"He could've finished the school year at least." Yamazaki, who had become a close friend to Syaoran, reasoned.

"That's what I've told Syaoran-kun's mother, but it seems that she is quite insistent of bringing Syaoran-kun back to Hong Kong, and he seems to want it that way too."

The class still continued to ask the teacher questions about Syaoran's sudden decision to transfer while Tomoyo silently glanced at her best friend who hasn't said a word.

"I'm fine." Sakura murmured, feeling her best friend's eyes on her.

"No, you're not." Tomoyo said in a soft voice, "Your eyes say otherwise."

Sakura brought her bangs lower to her eyes as Tomoyo pointed it out. She was sure that everyone noticed it, but just didn't say a word to make her feel better. She knew that her eyes were tired and swollen... It's because of the tears she had shed last night...

"I _will_ be fine," Sakura insisted, "It won't happen again."

Tomoyo frowned. _You say it won't happen again, but I can see that it will. It's already starting..._

"Can we at least bid him goodbye? Go to his house and throw him a party?" Yamazaki suggested.

The teacher paused at Yamazaki's suggestion and smiled. "Yes, I'm sure he'd like that. You've all become good friends with him after all. Saying goodbye to him would also be proper." She said, even though she needn't say it, she said it for Sakura's benefit.

_She never got to say goodbye to Kai after all..._

"How about that?" Tomoyo said, gently rubbing Sakura's arm, "Syaoran-san is also a good friend of yours, isn't he? You should at least say goodbye to him."

"Mn," Was Sakura's answer.

But everyone was still relieved that Sakura had agree to it.

.

.

.

"Where is everyone?" Sakura said softly, seeing the empty classroom. She thought that they were all going together to see Syaoran before he leaves tomorrow.

Tomoyo smiled gently at Sakura, "They said it was better if the two of us go to his house. They said they'd just say their goodbyes at the airport tomorrow."

"Then why can't we just do the same?"

"Sakura," Tomoyo said, "You should know the reason why. Maybe... maybe you'd be better once you get to say a proper goodbye and not let the past happen all over again."

Sakura just bit her lower lip and nodded.

* * *

.

.

.

"Oh? Are you friends of Syaoran-sama?" Syaoran's butler asked upon opening the door and seeing two beautiful teenagers in front of him.

"Yes, is he home?" Tomoyo asked politely, seeing as Sakura had stiffened.

The butler shook his head in dismay, "I'm sorry, but Syaoran-sama has already left, he's currently staying in the hotel near the airport with his mother."

"Oh," Tomoyo said disappointingly.

"Would you two ladies like to come in? There are still a few of Syaoran-sama's things here, there's a chance that he might still drop by."

Tomoyo looked at her friend who had frowned when she heard that Syaoran wasn't home already, then she smiled at Syaoran's butler, "That would be great, I hope we're not imposing."

The butler chuckled, "It's fine. Any friends of Syaoran-sama is always welcome. He rarely has friends visit him, even in Hong Kong."

"Come on," Tomoyo gently pulled Sakura into the house and they both followed the butler into the living room.

"I'll be back with tea, please make yourselves comfortable." He said as he left the two ladies to admire the house's interior.

Tomoyo sat at the couch and pulled Sakura down with her. "What's wrong?" Tomoyo finally asked. She knew that Sakura would act upset if they come to Syaoran's place, but she didn't think Sakura would act weird.

"I...I'm just surprised." Sakura murmured.

Immediately understanding what Sakura had meant, Tomoyo looked at her with soft eyes, "Syaoran-san isn't Kai, it's not a surprise that Syaoran-san lives in a mansion, has a personal butler and stuff, which was quite opposite Kai's lifestyle."

"I know..." Sakura said in a small voice, "Maybe...if we had come here sooner... maybe I would've woken up."

Tomoyo stroked Sakura's hair, "No one's blaming you, Sakura."

"That's not what I was thinking... it's just that..."

"Could you be Sakura Kinomoto?"

The two girls looked up when Syaoran's butler placed a tray with a teapot and two teacups on the table. He looked at Sakura curiously when he spoke.

"Y-yes," Sakura said, a bit surprised.

The butler smiled gently, "Syaoran-sama has talked about you a lot of times already."

"Syaoran-san talks to you about his day?" Tomoyo asked curiously when Sakura became speechless again.

The butler chuckled, "Yes, I've served under Syaoran-sama's family for two years now and had been caring for him. He's like a son to me, you could say. That boy doesn't always have a lot of things to say, but ever since we moved here, he's been very talkative." He chuckled again. "I can't believe that he had changed in just half a month."

"Changed?" Tomoyo asked. _He had changed. Sounds very familiar._ Tomoyo glanced at Sakura who, though looks like she was spacing out, was surely listening.

"When I first came to serve him, he was just a quiet boy, he didn't have much friends. One or two, maybe. Most of the time, when he gets home, he seemed quite lost. The Master had explained that Syaoran-sama had lost his memories in an accident."

"His memories?"

The butler nodded sadly, "It's quite tragic seeing Syaoran-sama. He'd look at something, a spark would enter his eyes, and in a flash it'd disappear. He used to be frustrated about it. It's like he's close to remembering something then suddenly, he couldn't remember at all."

"The piano..." Sakura murmured. "When I asked him when he started playing the piano...he couldn't remember..."

"But he was playing so well!" Tomoyo said in surprise.

"It seems that his body remembers what his memories have lost." The butler said, "He thinks that he's doing something for the first time, but seeing that he was quite good at the first try, he realizes that he might've done it already in his past."

"Doesn't his parents help him with the memories he's lost?" Tomoyo asked gently.

The butler shook his head. "They can't."

"They can't?" Tomoyo said curiously.

"They can't help Syaoran-sama in that area because they don't know a thing about his childhood. Syaoran-sama was just adopted."

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* * *

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"Syaoran, are you sure these are the only things you need when you go back home?" His mother murmured, standing beside Syaoran as the young teen stared out the french windows.

"I'm sure. The rest aren't so important." Syaoran answered monotonously.

His mother sighed seeing Syaoran so lifeless, it was like seeing him without his memories all over again. "Are you sure you don't want to stay here? Now that you know everything..."

Syaoran shook his head, "Now that I know everything, that's the reason why I want to go back to Hong Kong."

"Then," His mother said gently, "I'll go do some things. I'll leave you here for now." She said, leaving the room.

Syaoran just gave a small nod in reply.

As soon as he was sure that his mother was gone, he pounded his fist into the cold glass. "Everything's a lie..."

The sudden truth his _mother_ had told him last night had made everything so much clearer. Everything started to make sense already. He was no longer the lost boy, wondering what he had been doing in the past... He didn't have to find himself anymore...

.

.

.

_"What are you not telling me?" Syaoran had looked at him mother with pleading eyes, hoping that she would tell him whatever secret there was that she was keeping from him._

_His mother had sighed, "Syaoran..." She said softly, stroking her son's hair, "There's so much, I don't know where I should begin or how I should tell you..."_

_"Tell it to me straight out," Syaoran said determinedly. "I want to know if there's any possibility at all that I am connected to Kai Atsuki."_

_"Kai Atsuki was a patient of mine..." His mother started. "He and his parents were already informed of the unforeseeable event of his death, which could be easily triggered... they knew that Kai would die any time without warning. It was already a miracle that the boy had lived past the age of 15."_

_"He died of a heart attack." Syaoran remembered seeing in the file, "Then that means that he's dead."_

_His mother nodded. "I came to Japan to check his health and heard of the unfortunate news when I reached the hospital..." She swallowed, Syaoran could feel that it was hard for her to talk about it, "Kai was like a son to me, I've been watching over him ever since he was a baby. His visits in the hospital made it seem like I was watching him grow up..."_

_"Mother..."_

_"Kai's father died right there and then from a heart attack upon the proclamation that his son was dead." She choked, "It was heartbreaking for him...Kai was his only son..."_

_Syoaran's eyes widen._

_"And his mother...losing both her child and husband at the same time... She currently in a mental hospital..." She whispered at last._

_"Mother..."_

_She shook her head, "I might not have the right for you to call me by that title anymore..." She murmured._

_"W-wh—"_

_"Kai didn't die."_

_Syaoran froze, his breath suddenly stilled._

_"His body was still warm, but it was getting cold quickly... we were about to wheel his body into the morgue when a emergency room beside where we were suddenly burst open, a heart donor was made available at the last minute..." She trailed off, tears involuntarily falling from her eyes._

_Syaoran could feel his heart clenching._

_A heart was suddenly made available..._

_A heart donor..._

_A heart transplant..._

_"You're memory loss might've been because of the seizure or maybe because—" Syaoran's _mother_ choked on her tears, "There was a slight trauma in your brain that's why you couldn't remember...and you've practically lost your family...that why...I—"_

_Syaoran clenched his hands to his side at his mother's—or rather, his doctor's sudden revelation..._

_There was only one conclusion that came into his mind._

_Only one answer..._

_._

_._

_._

_"I am Kai."_

_._

_._

_._

* * *

**A/N: Review please!**

Yes, I'm really sorry for the late update T.T My laptop's battery is broken... I think...so I'm using the PC in the office...

Boo...some of you had guessed right about Syaoran...you guys are no fun! Kekeke, please review! Last chapter will be up soon! :)

Btw! Did you guys see the cover of this story? ^^ I know it's Tsubasa Chronicles, but it seemed to fit this story. :D This new feature is cool, I promise that I'd put my own drawing instead in the near future!


	6. Letting You Go

**Disclaimer: I don't own Card captor Sakura**

* * *

_**Chapter 6**_

_._

_._

_._

Syaoran sat quietly on the edge of his bed inside the hotel room, he stared at the view provided beyond the class window. As soon as he felt a light weight press beside him on his bed, he stood up.

"We're going?" Syaoran asked, getting his suitcase from the side without looking up.

The person who had sat beside Syaoran looked at him worriedly. Feeling the stretching silence, Syaoran looked at the woman reluctantly and saw her worried face.

He gave a small smile, "I'm really ready to go home, Mother." He said reassuringly.

"Syaoran," She said, quite unsure as what to really say.

"I've learned about the truth, but that still doesn't change anything. I grew up in Hong Kong, with you and Father. You two are my parents now, nothing can change that. I am the person I am now because of the two of you." He said determinedly.

"Syaoran," She tried again, "Your butler told me...that there's a girl..."

Syaoran looked away before his mother could see the pain in his eyes upon the mention of a girl. _Sakura..._ He slowly clenched his fists. "It's for the best if I leave."

"She's someone important in your past..."

Syaoran's head snapped back to his mother as his eyes narrowed.

The older woman looked down at her hands which was placed on her lap. "I saw her face. She's the same girl who was grieving for you in the hospital...two years ago." She said quietly.

"I can't stay."

"Syaoran," She tried to reason with him gently.

"Mother," Syaoran said in a hard voice, "I can't stay here anymore. Don't you know how much I had hurt her? Torn her into two? Making her choose between me and Kai— who was me in the first place? Do you know how confusing that could be?"

"Then what do you want?" She looked at him, "To live as Kai or to live as Syaoran?"

"Kai is already dead," Syaoran said with finality, "Whether I regain my memories or not, I've already started living as Syaoran."

"You still want her to choose..." His mother said, seeing straight through his tough exterior. No matter how much Syaoran says that he'd rather stay away from that girl, she knew that Syaoran wants the girl to choose him—Syaoran, and not his past which he could no longer remember.

"She can never make that decision."

"She'll realize it, one day." She said encouragingly, "Despite the fact that you are still acting similar to your old self, but because you grew up in a different environment, there's bound to be a difference..."

Syaoran smiled a genuine smile at his mother, who had been so encouraging to him since last night. If he had discovered the truth on his own, he might've gone crazy right away.

"Thank you," He murmured.

The older woman smiled warmly and stood up from the bed, "Come on, let's go get ready."

* * *

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.

"Sakura?" Tomoyo softly called the name of her friend, who was just sitting beside her in the car and just staring outside the window.

She silently sighed at Sakura's lack of response, but she couldn't completely blame her since the event that transpired yesterday would've given any person the shock of their life.

.

.

.

_"I was just new to the Li household, when the Lady suddenly brought in a child that looked so distress and lost. I don't really know much about Syaoran-sama's life story, but he seemed to have gone through a lot. Being told that he had lost his memory... It was painful watching Syaoran-sama struggle..."_

_"His real parents?" Tomoyo asked softly._

_"I heard that his father had died from a heart attack and that his real mother was confined in a hospital... that's all I know."_

_"Syaoran-kun...was adopted..." Sakura spoke slowly, as if trying to let the words sink into her head._

_"Could you have had any connections with Syaoran-sama's past?" The butler asked curiously._

_"No," Tomoyo hesitated for a brief moment before she spoke again, "I don't _think_ so..."_

_"Then might you know whether he has any connections to the deceased Kai Atsuki?"_

_Sakura's head snapped up while Tomoyo's eyes widen. The butler carefully studied the reaction of both girls before he walked to a nearby table and took something that looked like a folder. He gently placed it in the table in front of them._

_"Syaoran-sama has been hell bent on knowing this young man's bio data. The photo that came along had shocked me. Could he be related to Syaoran-sama? But it had been clearly stated that this boy doesn't have any other siblings..."_

_Sakura wanted to open and looked at the contents inside herself, but she couldn't move. Even though her mind was screaming for her to get it, her body wouldn't move at all._

_Tomoyo took the folder._

_She opened it and Sakura watched her best friend's reaction._

_It was blank._

_Slowly, Tomoyo looked up to meet Sakura's anxious gaze, "It _is _Kai's profile... a copy of his death certificate is here..."_

_"Then that means..." Sakura trailed off. Her mind was still processing whatever Tomoyo had just told her._

_"Guests?"_

_All three of them looked up upon the sudden cool voice of a woman. Syaoran's butler had immediately bowed upon the woman's entrance while Sakura and Tomoyo sat speechlessly._

_"They are?" The older woman asked, then her eyes widen with recognition as her eyes met a bright pair of emerald ones. "Sakura-san?"_

_Sakura flinched when the woman had said her name. Have they met before? She couldn't remember at all—but apparently Tomoyo does, as she stood up with shock._

_"You're Kai's doctor!" Tomoyo said with recognition._

_Sakura froze._

_The older woman walked forward and placed her handbag on the love seat across the two girls while the butler went into the kitchen to fetch the Lady something to drink._

_"You must be Syaoran's friends," She said, avoiding Tomoyo's statement. "I've heard about you along with stories of friends he had made during his stay here."_

_"Are you...Syaoran-kun's mother?" Sakura asked quietly._

_The older woman smiled, "Her adoptive mother," She gently corrected._

_"Is Syaoran-kun..." Sakura choked out the words as pain twisted on her beautiful face, "Kai?"_

_"Sakura-san..."_

_"That's how it is, isn't it? Syaoran-kun is Kai, right?" Sakura said, her voice raising, "There's no other explanation...their similarities...their looks...you're Kai's doctor, something must've happened. Kai survived, didn't he!"_

_"Sakura..." Tomoyo murmured__—_restrained.

_"Please, tell me the truth," Sakura pleaded, her eyes already stinging with tears. Tomoyo could only watch her best friend helplessly..._

_The older woman closed her eyes briefly, and then breathed her answer, "Yes."_

_._

_._

_._

Tomoyo could still remember how Sakura's knees had given way as she fell to the floor, her face full of shock and denial. Could it be that somehow. . . Sakura had accepted that Kai was already dead and that Syaoran is a completely different person?

She had left the room when the older woman slowly knelt in front of Sakura, whatever they had talked about were just between the two of them.

"Sakura..." Tomoyo said softly, laying a hand on Sakura's. She waited until Sakura looked at her before giving her best friend a small smile. "Everything will be alright," She said encouragingly.

But Sakura shook her head, "It's never going to be alright... When I see him... what am I supposed to do? Will I be looking at Syaoran-kun or will I be looking at Kai? I..." She just shook her head again speechlessly.

Tomoyo watched her best friend sadly. "Are you sure you're not going to see him?" Tomoyo said gently, seeing that they were almost near Tomoeda Gakuen.

"I'm sure." Sakura replied.

That was the most determined answer Sakura had ever given yet, so Tomoyo didn't push it any further. She trusts her best friend to make the right choice, and if she thinks this is the right thing to do, she'd always stick by her side.

* * *

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.

.

"Syaoran?"

Syaoran's head snapped back to his mother, who was standing in front of him with curiosity in her eyes.

"You've been looking back repeatedly, is something wrong?" She asked worriedly.

Syaoran shook his head. He didn't realize that it was so obvious. He gave his mother a reassuring smile and stood beside her. "I'm fine." He said, "Let me get that." He pulled his mother's luggage towards him.

His mother frowned knowingly as Syaoran continued to walk towards their terminal number. She looked back where Syaoran had been turning to look, she saw people hurrying here and there, trying to find their own assigned terminals. _Where are you Sakura-san. . . Are you not really going to see Syaoran?_

She suddenly remembered the conversation she had with the teenage girl when she had finally said the truth.

_She had gently caressed the girl's damp cheeks as she knelt on the floor beside her._

_"Sakura-san..."_

_"Syaoran-kun... Syaoran-kun is actually Kai..." She shook her head, as if trying to shake those thoughts away._

_"Have you started to see Syaoran as Kai?" She asked gently._

_Sakura flinched. Surprised that the older woman knew about her internal conflict._

_"Syaoran... has had a tugging feeling about you ever since he first met you in this...second life of his. I'm supposed to say that his heart will always remember how much he cared for you...but that can't be the case. All I can say is that the remnant of his heart, his very soul— it remembers the love you two have shared. And if Syaoran was this confused, I'm sure you would've been more affected upon seeing him."_

_"Why... Why didn't you just tell me____— Tell everyone, that Kai was actually still alive? Why did you have to take him away and let him live as someone who he's not?" A hint of bitterness was evident in Sakura's voice as she looked at the older woman with tired eyes._

_____"If you were in my shoes... Seeing how Kai lost his family in one blow... Seeing how lost and memory-less he was when he first woke up... Would you have heartlessly throw him into a world where he's lost?"_

_____"I would... I would be there for him."_

_____The older woman shook her head gently, "He wouldn't even have an ounce of memory about you left. He'd remain scared, lost and confused. He needed to start all over again. A second life..."_

_"Kai____— No, _Syaoran-kun... He would want me to accept him as him_. As who he is now... And I can't..."_

_Syaoran's mother slowly reached out again and gently stroke Sakura's golden hair, "As a woman, I'd tell you that there's no difference between Syaoran and Kai, they're still the same person. But as Syaoran's mother, I'd tell you to forget about Kai, because no matter how much you yearn for him, Syaoran is no longer Kai. He's already his own person. He's already Syaoran." She smiled gently, "I know that this is all very confusing, but listen to what you heart says and I'm sure you're going to make the right choice."_

_"My choice. . ."_

_"We're leaving tomorrow, and I'm sure you've been made aware of it... Please come see him. Whether you want to ask him to stay or see him go... Please go see Syaoran one more time."_

_"I can't see him..." Sakura said, her voice hoarse for the restrained tears. "I can't see him the way I am right now. Syaoran-kun, Kai... until I can accept everything that had transpired... I can't keep on hurting Syaoran-kun this way."_

_"He will accept—"_

_Sakura's shaking of her head interrupted whatever she had to say. "He will accept as long as I ask him to stay?" Sakura said doubtfully, "Maybe he can pretend that everything is fine, but like how much I am hurting at this moment... I'm sure that Syaoran-kun is also suffering in his own way. It's just like how you said it... Syaoran-kun is his own person..."_

_Syaoran's mother stared at Sakura for a long while, trying to think of a way to dissuade whatever decision she has made. But seeing Sakura's determined emerald eyes, she could just sigh. "What's on your mind Sakura-san?" She asked gently._

_"Time. I just need time."_

_"Syaoran would want you by his side."_

_"Syaoran-kun would want me by his side because it's him that I'm in love with and not because he's Kai...in his past life."_

_The older woman shook her head in minimal disbelief. _She has it all figure out. Sakura-san has already made her choice.

_"You've really started to see Syaoran as who he is now, haven't you?" Her tone wasn't judgemental, it was just an observation. A statement_.

_"It was hard to accept. But little by little, I was starting to see two different people____—even though they were just actually one," Sakura shook her head, "But Syaoran-kun was able to be someone which Kai wasn't able to become. Syaoran-kun became my best friend."_

_____"Kai____—"_

_________"Things between Kai and I... we both knew it was already something more since the first moment we met. There were no words, things just fell into place..." Sakura trailed off. Thinking of Kai just brought on more stabbing pain into her heart._

_________"You're really just going to let Syaoran go then, aren't you?"_

_Sakura nodded determinedly. "I'm still a mess, but I'll be able to figure things out. This is the best choice I could make. I don't want to be selfish... Letting Syaoran-kun go is like losing Kai all over again... but... Kai's really gone, isn't he?" Sakura said, a tear escaping the corner of her eye._

_The older woman could only nod speechlessly._

_"Please..." Sakura suddenly said in a pleading tone, "Please take good care of. . . of him."_

_The older woman smiled softly at the teenage girl, "Of course," She said gently, "Syaoran is my son after all._

**"Last call for those who are boarding the flight number 201."**

"Let's go, Mother."

The older woman looked sadly at her adopted son, who was now carrying both their passports and was starting to line up in the boarding area. Syaoran felt his mother's eyes on him and looked up at her curiously when he saw her sad eyes.

"You could stay, you know." She said softly.

Syaoran could only smile a small smile. "She and I both made our choices. I'm sure that if she really wanted me here, she would've come here herself and asked me to stay."

She could only sigh. "Why are you two so dishonest to your feelings?"

Syaoran chuckled, "Mother, please mind your own business," He said in a joking way, "I'm sure that I'd meet her again."

"She could be already with someone else."

"As long as she's happy, that's fine with me."

"How sure are you that you'd meet her again?"

"I met her in this second life of mine, haven't I?" Syaoran said optimistically. "Then I'm sure that I'd meet her again in the future."

"She loves you, you know." Syaoran's mother couldn't help but add gently.

Syaoran's eyes softened at his mother's words. _I love her too. I love her so much that I just want to stay and be by her side. I don't care whether she pushes me away. I don't care as long as I get to keep seeing her..._ Syaoran crushed those yearning thoughts as he tried to reply to his mother. "I love her too." Was his simple reply.

**"Flight number 201, destination Hong Kong. The plane has successfully flown. The next flight will be..."**

"Were you sure about this?" Tomoyo gently said as she placed her hands on the glass window in the airport, which oversaw where the planes landed and took off.

Sakura, who was standing just beside Tomoyo, nodded silently. Her eyes followed the plane which was supposedly where Syaoran was, until it disappeared into the thick clouds. "I'm sure." Sakura murmured.

"You were so close... all you had to do was call out his name." A hint of regret was on Tomoyo's voice. She felt regret for Sakura. She felt that it was a waste of opportunity... but yet again, she respected whatever decision Sakura has made.

Sakura bit her lower lip, "I know," She murmured again. She tried to see the planes outside, but that was possible anymore, because her tears were already blurring her vision.

_I'll see you again. . ._

_But the next time we meet. . ._

_I know that I'll be able to see Syaoran-kun. . ._

_Kai will already be a part of my past. . ._

_I love you. . ._

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"I'm late!" A woman in her early twenties shrieked as she closed the door of her apartment hurriedly. She was carrying her shoes as she ran across the hallway towards the elevator, her huge suitcase was hanging on her arm as she used her free hand to run the brush through her hair.

When the elevator 'ting'-ed she hurriedly got it, silently thanking that no one was inside with her. Surely that person would think of her as someone unruly and disorganized, which wasn't really the case. She was just running late for an important meeting.

She quickly slipped onto her shoes as she smoothed out her skirt. She looked at the floor where the elevator was and saw that she still had ten floors to go before she got to the lobby. She turned around and double checked her make-up, she groaned upon seeing how unruly her golden locks were. She sighed in relief when the elevator doors opened and she was already presentable. A bright smile matched her emerald orbs upon seeing the person in front of her.

An equally young woman smiled back, as she brushed the pale purple baby bangs away from her eyes. "Good morning Sakura," She said, "I see that you were dressing up in the elevator again."

Red instantly tinted Sakura's cheeks as her best friend exposed her.

"I was just wearing my shoes! Don't talk like I was naked when I got in!" She blushed.

Her best friend giggled at Sakura's flustered face. "Come on, come on. Thank God the meeting's just in your building, you wouldn't want to miss this chance! It's not everyday we get to score a foreign investor."

"Tomoyo..." Sakura tried to talk as her best friend immediately dragged her passed the lobby desk and into a hallway where there was full of conference rooms.

"No complaints! I promise that this investor is purely interested in the architectural designs you've made. He's not just into making money out of it, you can tell that he's really passionate about art too. Please promise me not to turn this opportunity down! If not, I swear you're going to be the next model walking in the runway wearing my latest fashion design!"

"You're just saying that because that person turns out to be your boyfriend." Sakura laughed brightly as Tomoyo stuck a tongue out childishly at her. "I'm sure that we'd get along well."

Tomoyo rolled her eyes, "It's not about whether you'd two get along_—_Well you two _should._ But what I'm trying to say here is that you should just accept that fact that your designs _are_ worth seeing. They are worth to be made 3-D! To be built and exposed!"

Sakura laughed at Tomoyo's over enthusiasm. "Should I talk to him in English or what?"

"Don't tease him about his broken Japanese." Tomoyo warned, feeling overly offended that her best friend would joke about her half-Japanese boyfriend.

All jokes ended when the two girls stood in front of a specific door. Sakura caught her best friend's stern look before she went in.

Inside the room, she saw a young man with dark blue hair standing in front of the glass window, which overlooked at garden just behind the apartment she lived in. Hearing the door close, the young man looked up and smiled as Sakura gestured to the table.

"You must be Kinomoto Sakura." The young man said, as he walked towards the table where Sakura had gestured.

Sakura nodded, "Yes. If I may guess, Tomoyo bribed you into letting me think that my works will actually sell." Sakura muttered, carefully laying the large suitcase on top of the table.

He chuckled, "No, that's not true. She actually gave me samples of your work. I really liked them, I even passed them around in the office."

"You're working in an architectural firm, right?" Sakura confirmed. It was her first time actually meeting her best friend's boyfriend, so she raked her brain about things Tomoyo had said about him.

The young man nodded, "You really have talent Sakura-san."

"Thanks." Sakura blushed slightly, she still wasn't used to getting praises aside from her father and her best friend. Sakura hastily opened her suitcase, trying to hide the fact that she was flustered. She carefully pulled out a few clear books and laid them across the table.

"May I?"

Sakura nodded as he took one of them and slowly flipped the pages. Sakura could feel her heart pounding, along with her hands sweating. Hoping for a positive reaction, because she could clearly see that the guy had instantly shifted into professional mode as soon as he turned onto the first page.

He nodded silently as he shifted through more pages.

"Amazing." He finally said as he laid the clear book back on the table. He looked at Sakura, clearly impressed. "To be honest, I actually thought that Tomoyo-chan was exaggerated since you two are best friends and all," He admitted.

"Well, she tends to..."

He laughed. "These are great Kinomoto-san. If my partner were here, I'm sure that he'd_—"_

"I'm sorry I'm late!" The door behind Sakura had suddenly burst open. She could clearly hear the person panting as he strive to catch his breath.

Tomoyo's boyfriend grinned, "I was just mentioning you to this young lady here."

Sakura slowly brought out more of her things to show to the newcomer.

"I'm really sorry." The newcomer said.

"Got lost?" Tomoyo's boyfriend teased.

"No, just remembering something from the past."

"Whatever." He chucked as he gestured his partner towards them. "Come here, you got to see her work up close. It's better than the pictures I've showed you."

"I think you have to introduce us first. Dragging me to Japan all of a sudden like this_—"_

"I am sure you'd love her work. This is a surprise for you! You're finally going to find a partner worth_—"_

Tomoyo's boyfriend stopped when he saw his partner's eyes widen and there was a clattering sound echoing in the room. "Kinomoto-san?" He had turned to Sakura, but saw that she was frozen as she faced his partner.

"It's you." The two said simultaneously.

"You two know each other already?" Tomoyo's boyfriend said in surprise.

Syaoran was the first one to overcome his shock, "No. She's just someone familiar, that's all."

Sakura instantly felt a slight prick in her heart when Syaoran denied their association. _He must feel angry... That I wasn't able to give him an answer... That I didn't get to__—_

__"—about you."

Sakura jumped when she suddenly realized that someone was talking to her. She saw that Tomoyo's boyfriend had also stood in front of her and beside Syaoran. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." Sakura immediately apologized.

Tomoyo's boyfriend chuckled. "You seem to have charmed yet another girl." He clapped his hand over Syaoran's shoulder. "Well, allow me to introduce you two. This is Kinomoto Sakura, the one I told you about that has quite a talent for drawing architectural designs. Now this is Li Syaoran, he sort of my partner and the CEO of our company."

Sakura was speechless as Syaoran smiled and nodded through the introduction, most especially when Syaoran looked at her and reached out his right hand.

A shake.

It took Sakura a second before she responded to the outreached hand.

"It's nice to meet you Kinomoto-san. As I was saying a while ago, Eriol here has already said a lot of things about you." Syaoran said brightly.

Sakura could only nod speechlessly.

Tomoyo's boyfriend, Eriol, shook his head seeing Sakura so speechless. "It's a good thing I met my girlfriend first, and never had the chance to introduce her to you."

Syaoran chuckled at the joke, "I'm sure she wouldn't be interested in me anyway." He already had a wild guess of who that girlfriend of his might be.

"Now can you please let of her hand so I can show you samples of her work?" Eriol chuckled, seeing as the two were still shaking.

"I'm sorry about that." Syaoran chuckled easily as he let go of Sakura's hand. He went over to where Eriol stood and took the clear book he was handing over to him.

Sakura calmed her raging heart as Syaoran scanned her work. When there hand had touched, it was like an electricity passed through the both of them... _Why is Syaoran-kun acting like this... Like we have never met... But there was clearly recognition in his eyes..._

__"Approved."

Sakura blinked.

Eriol grinned at Sakura as Syaoran laid the clear book back onto the table. "He said he's approving it. He likes your work!"

Sakura shook her head lightly, "I was applying." She said shortly.

Syaoran and Eriol looked at each other before they gave off a short laughter. Eriol shook his head as he walked towards the door, "I'm going to go find my girlfriend."

Sakura frowned as Eriol left the room, her brows knitted together when she thought of their reaction. What was funny? It's true that she wasn't even applying. _She_ was the one who was going to approve whether she will allow her work to be sold to _them._

"Who wouldn't want to apply? Our firm is already number one around the world. You're lucky that Eriol saw your talent. It's very rare for us to personally reach out to a nameless talent." Syaoran said.

Sakura couldn't help but feel irritated. "I'm beg your pardon?"

Syaoran chuckled, "Relax." He said, "Well, I'm really looking forward to working with you Kinomoto-san."

Sakura bit her lower lip. _Why is he being so formal? Could it be that he had lost his memories again?_

Syaoran's eyes softened seeing the confused face Sakura was unconsciously making. He chuckled again. "It's great to see you again Sakura-san," He said softly.

Sakura eyes widen as he called her name.

Syaoran smiled at her fondly.

"Syaoran-kun..." Sakura could already feel the moisture in her eyes.

Syaoran slowly stood right in front of her as he gently reached out to caress her cheek. _You called me by my name. _He wanted to say it to her, but he resisted the urge. Bringing up the past wasn't something he'd want to do right now. "I missed you,"

"I was waiting for you." Sakura said, her voice equally soft as she touched his hand which was on her cheek.

"Let's start all over again." He said gently.

"Let's." Sakura agreed. "Syaoran-kun."

**END**

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_**A/N: Review please!**_


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